The very first step to healing anything is awareness—so believe it or not, just reading these IG posts and having “ah ha” moments about what you resonate with is a HUGE step toward healing inner-child wounds.

Why is self-awareness so huge? Because without awareness of our patterns we are at the mercy of them. We have no conscious choice, we are just acting and reacting, playing out old trauma.

Mindfulness meditation practices are very helpful in deepening our levels of self-awareness. Mindfulness means “awareness of the present moment with acceptance.” So, when we meditate we are essentially training ourselves to become aware of our internal experience (thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations) without reacting to it. We are cultivating intimate knowledge of how our internal world works.

So beginning the PROCESS of becoming aware is the first step. And it is a process… one that deepens over time with conscious effort and practice at being mindful. Don’t expect it to happen over night.

The 2nd step is learning to become the benevolent parent that you never had. As adults it is our responsibility to heal ourselves and to parent ourselves. Once we begin to see what our wounds are, whenever we find ourselves triggered, we can start to VALIDATE our own pain/emotions/experience. Validating ourselves is crucial, because this is what many of us did not receive as children.

Validation can look as simple as this: Noticing we are feeling _______, and telling ourselves “I know you are feeling ____ right now, and that makes perfect sense given what you have been through. I will take care of you.” Or, “I know you are feeling ______ right now. It is ok. I am here with you.” (Yes, you are talking to yourself. Yes, it might feel weird at first—but believe me, it works.)

Replacing negative self-talk and shaming with genuine compassion for ourselves is where much of the healing ultimately takes place because we begin the process of learning to hold space for ourselves. We essentially become the safe, loving attachment figure that we never had.

This is usually a long process and one that can be helped along tremendously by having safe, loving relationships where we can talk about our process with another person… this can be with a therapist/counselor/coach—which is often best because these people have special training. But healthy, loving adult friendships and/or romantic partnerships can also be very helpful.

These wounds occurred in relationship, so typically—at least in part—the healing also needs to happen within the context of relationship.

Healing our inner-child wounds requires learning to REPARENT ourselves. Everything I discussed above is one part of the reparenting process. There are other things to do as well… self-care is huge.

When you think of self-care go back to the basics—are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating regularly and eating foods that help you feel good? Are you moving your body regularly? Getting some fresh air everyday? Making efforts to find time for things that bring you joy? Making time to connect with people who fill you up, as opposed to drain you?

All of these things are important parts of reparenting (just a fancy term for “taking care of”) yourself.

Boundary work is another big part of healing inner child wounds, and again, awareness is the first step. Becoming aware of our own unique boundary system—how we set, or fail to set, personal boundaries in relationships with family, friends, partners, etc. After we begin to become aware, then we can start looking at what is working for us and what is not… what needs to be changed, etc.

Healing our inner child wounds is a multifaceted process that looks a little different for everyone, but these are a few quick ideas to get the wheels spinning.

With Care,

Maggie

Did you know that you can under-express or over-express your Rising Sign (also known as the Ascendant), or actually any part of your birth chart?

It’s a widely held misconception that the Natal Chart is simply a description of our personality. So, according to pop astrology, if someone “is an Aries” (their Sun sign is Aries) then they will automatically present and experience themselves as assertive, enthusiastic, and fiery.

But how many people read the description of their zodiac sign (Sun sign) and don’t feel like it describes them very well at all? Lots.

And this is because the reality is much more complex. And actually, so is astrology. Professional astrology accounts for this complexity, pop astrology doesn’t.

While our birth chart does describe us, no one can predict exactly how we—as the unique individuals we are—will respond to and express that complex mixture of energies and influences.

Both nature and nurture play a role.
​Nature being the qualities we are born with (described by the birth chart), nurture being the environment we grow up in and the experiences that influence our development.

And, then there’s “free will,” of course. No one can live our lives for us. Only we get to decide how we respond to what we are given.

That being said, it’s possible to over-emphasize an under-emphasize parts of our personality. And when this happens we often feel out of balance.

The Rising Sign is the zodiac sign that was coming over the horizon as we emerged from the womb. It was becoming visible, revealing itself, while we were revealing ourselves to the world for the very first time.

And, fittingly, on the personality level the Rising Sign represents our most external layer of Self—what people see/feel/experience when they first meet us.
It is our social personality.

The Ascendant also tells us about how we view and approach life. So, for instance, someone with Scorpio Rising will tend to view life through a psychological lens and may present as quite intense and perhaps a little guarded. Whereas a Sagittarius Rising will meet life with palpable enthusiasm and likely come across as upbeat and extroverted. ((Always keeping in mind that how much these descriptions fit any individual person will be dependent on how these signs interact with the rest of their chart... but you get the idea.))

On the soul level the Rising Sign serves as a description of the ideal personality for us to embody, as well as the types of experiences we are meant to have, in order to learn our spiritual lessons in this lifetime and to carry out our highest purpose.

​So, what happens if we have an over or under-developed Ascendant?
If we over-do it we’ll have a harder time letting others in, and they might find if hard to trust us (because it can feel as if we are hiding something). If we under-do it we will feel socially awkward and vulnerable because we might be throwing around lots of deep parts of ourselves with no ability to set protective boundaries and adhere to social norms.

The key to addressing an imbalance is a thorough understanding of our Rising Sign, as well as how our Rising Sign interacts with the rest of our chart. Is it meant to temper and cool our fiery disposition? Is it meant to ground us?

Armed with this knowledge we can then build more self-awareness and, if necessary, consciously begin to tweak the way we relate to our Rising Sign, to the benefit of our overall functioning and mental health.
​
What is your Rising Sign?
Do you think you might be under or over-expressing it?

For more information about how to work with this aspect of your chart The Ascendant: Your Rising Sign by Jodie Forrest is a great resource.